First Descents

Cancer Camp 2012-

First Descents

I have just returned from a week of kayaking in North Carolina, smack dab in the Great Smoky Mountains. Although I think I am still trying to process everything that happened there, waves of emotion have been filling my heart just about every minute since I have returned. I know I will not be able to really give the experience justification with simple words. This experience lies outside the realm of articulation, instead it is more of an energy that floats in and surrounds the soul. That might seem heavy, but it is true. I did write something while I was there, trying to help myself process the magnitude of it all so I’m going to start with that, and add anything else that might come to mind. 

What is First Descents to me…? It is bringing together a group of people who have experienced great loss in order to experience great gain. We have all lost, lost something. Whether it was hair, a leg, a semester or two of school, an ovary, a pair of breasts, a child, or memory, we have all had our own struggle. But here, none of that matters. Here, these same people live more than anyone else I have ever met. When I say live, I mean really live. We have all fought hard for life. We know what it feels like to have that dark threat of losing it. There is an understanding here, a knowledge that goes beyond expression. Through our experiences we have been brought together and because of our experiences we have been bonded together. We talk, we laugh, we grow, we challenge, and most importantly we PADDLE. As we submerge ourselves in the kayaks the river brings us together, levels the playing field, and makes us face our fears. On the river small strokes make big waves. And, even though I have only been here a SMALL amount of time, these people and this experience is making a BIG wave in my life.

And now, I am back home, sitting at the cancer center waiting to get my 30^th and last treatment. But, a part of me is still there. That part of me that is still there, has been re-filled by all of the people I have left behind. They are all now a part of me. They inspired me, they taught me, they accepted me, and they motivated me. As someone in our group said, “I will miss my new friends for life.”  As an example of the incredibleness of these people, this was the text message I awoke to this morning from one of my new dear friends…

            “Somewhere in KC, MO a lady sits in a cancer treatment center waiting for her one last chemo. You aren’t sitting there alone though, you aren’t sitting there weak or scared either. Today your blood pumps inspiration, hope, and victorious joy right along with that chemical warfare. The heavy doses of the good medicine running through you right now is probably doing more to help you than the chemo, but I guess we take our meds as they tell us to and chuckle at the irony of it all. Anyways just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you today. Way to go, you totally ROCK!”

She understands, she knows, and she made my day!

So, here is my plug for Frist Descents, aka cancer camp, if anyone out there reading this knows anyone with cancer between the ages of 18-39 PLEASE tell them about this organization. It is 100% free of charge, although it cost us a lot to be able to qualify. It cost us our health, but First Descents has the power to help us get it back.